


caffeine crash

by glubbyfishprincess



Series: David Washington: Ace Detective [2]
Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: A dead employee, Gen, Private Investigator AU, and too many knock knock jokes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-24
Updated: 2014-12-29
Packaged: 2018-03-03 05:52:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,260
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2840372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/glubbyfishprincess/pseuds/glubbyfishprincess
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Wash runs into some old friends he would've preferred not to see again.<br/>Oh, and a dead body as well. He never liked to see those.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

_Date: 03/02/20XX, Friday_  
 _Time: 7:40 PM_  
 _Location: Chorus Café Supplies Warehouse, Pier 636_

Wash snapped out of his daze when he saw Caboose go down. He was quick to catch Caboose before the poor man’s head could hit the ground. They definitely didn’t need any more dead bodies around here. He slowly laid Caboose down on the ground behind him – he would deal with him later – and began to assess the situation.

The large metal gate was wide open now, the shutters locking with a large click. The pier was right past the gate, and a few workers carrying crates stood in shock. The loud creaking of the gate must’ve caught their attention then it would’ve been hard to miss the body that was slowly being uncovered as the gate rose. A few workers rushed towards it to get a better view

“Stay away from the body! Don’t come too close.” Wash called out and held his arms out. They immediately stopped, forming a perimeter around the dead body. “Hurry, one of you call the police!”

A particulary shocked worker dropped the bucket he held and brought out her cellphone, dialing 911. “Hello, is this 911?” She spoke with a heavy lisp. “Yeth, it’th an emergency. A-a dead body. Warehouse 20, Pier 636. _Thwenty._ I _thaid_ Warehouse 20, if you tell me to repeat that again I _thwear to God…_ ”

Washington kneeled down to examine the body; the person was clearly dead. Several small stab wounds littered the chest area but the biggest one with the most blood caked around it was right on the heart. The knife in the throat was probably just for show. _God, criminals are such fucking creeps._

 The pool of blood around it seemed to be almost dry; Wash assumed the murder must’ve happened quite a while ago, even before he and Caboose arrived at the Warehouse. A trail of blood lead from the pool of blood to a wall to the right and up some metal stairs leading to a room with glass windows on the upper part of the warehouse. He would check that out later.

He reached out to pull the hood down and uncover the face but just as he did, police sirens blared from outside the warehouse and he could hear more people rushing in through the gate. A flashlight shone right on his face.

“Well, well, well, look what we have here!”

Washington looked up. He recognized that asshole’s voice anywhere.

“For a detective, you seem to know nothing about crime scene courtesy.” A man stood smugly before him, dressed in a dark grey polo with a bright orange tie and black dress slacks. A few uniformed police officers also joined him inside the warehouse, shooing away the workers that stood around ( _‘Hey, you’re that athhole who couldn’t understand me aren’t you? Don’t you dare touch me!’)_. “Oops, I meant _former_ detective. Sorry.”

“Felix.” Wash hissed.

“Brr, that was cold, Wash. _Cold._ ” Felix pretended to look offended, wrapping his arms around himself and shivering. “Shouldn’t you be nicer to a friend you haven’t met in a long time, _David_?” Felix smug smile grew even wider as Wash winced at the mention of his name. He knew exactly what buttons to push with Washington.

“You’re not my friend, not even close.” Wash shook his head and stood up to look him straight in the face. Well not exactly, as Wash was a head taller than him.  “What are you even doing here?”

 “And, uh, it’s kind of my job as the highest-ranking detective in the police force to be here? I’d imagine _you_ of all people wouldknow what responsibilities lie on my shoulders.” He emphasized his last sentence, looking up at Wash with a smirk.

“Fuck you.” Wash practically snarled, anger boiling inside of him, and took a step forward with his hands clenched into fists.

“Easy, tiger!” Felix laughed and put his hands in front of him as if to ward off the other from attacking him. Wash stepped back, folding his arms and not breaking his stare. “In all seriousness, though, I’d probably step away from that crime scene if I were you.” Felix’s voice dropped back into a serious tone. “You don’t want to get into any more trouble.”

\-------

_Date: 03/02/20XX, Friday_  
 _Time: 8:30 PM_  
 _Location: Bloodgulch Police Station-A, Pier 636_

“You’re in _where_ because of _what!?_ ” Wash winced leaned his head away from the telephone as North’s usually-calm voice pierced through the speaker in a shout.

“Look, it’s not as bad as it sounds.” Wash spoke quietly. “They just took me in to ask me some questions about the crime scene.”

“ _I knew_ I shouldn’t have let you continue the investigation.” Wash could hear North pacing back and forth from the other line and shifted uncomfortably with guilt.

“I didn’t do anything, North. I swear.”

Silence filled the phone booth for a few seconds before North finally spoke up.

“Yes, I know.” North replied after taking a deep breath. “I believe in you.”

“I don’t!” Another voice came from somewhere on North’s end. “I always knew y’had it in you! I’m proud of you, Washo!”

“ _South, you’re not helping._ ” North sternly reprimanded his sister away from the mouthpiece and sighed heavily before turning back to talk to Wash. “Listen, Wash, you’ll be fine. You know how these things work, just listen to Felix and do as you’re told.”

“They wouldn’t let me even touch the crime scene!” Wash argued.

“You’re not a detective anymore, Wash. You have to remember that.”

He had to admit, North was right. He always had that urge to run towards trouble, forgetting that it was no longer his duty to, causing him a lot of trouble (and earning him a few more scars).

Wash leaned against the wall with a sigh and brought his other hand to his head. His head started to throb as the memories flashed through his mind. “I-I do know that.”

The police officer waiting outside the phone booth tapped against the glass, motioning for Wash to hurry.

“I have to go now, they’re calling me.”

“Ok, Wash. Just call me back when you’re done.” North paused. “Is Theta alright?”

“Yeah, he’s with Caboose right now in the infirmary.” The police had wanted to question Caboose as well as soon as he woke up. He was still currently passed out in the infirmary the last Wash had heard. He was just glad he was still okay even after that fall. It was probably the first time the poor guy witnessed something as grisly as a crime scene.

“Thank you, Wash. I’m really happy you found him.” Washington could hear the sincerity in his voice. It’s been a while ever since he’s done anything other than disappoint his best friend; he wasn’t exactly sure how to react.

“Don’t mention it.” He muttered then hung up. Did most best friends end phone calls like this?

He walked out of the phone booth and allowed the police officer assigned to him (“Bitters”) to (reluctantly) lead him to the interrogation room. The inside was all too familiar to Wash. Dark grey plastered on the walls and ceiling with a table with a single folding chair in the middle with a door opposite the one he entered in. Usually, though, Wash wasn’t the one sitting down.

Felix entered through the other door with a folder in hand after a few seconds and dismissed Bitters (He rolled his eyes. “Whatever.”)

“Oh, how the tables have turned.” Felix smirked. He placed both hands flat on the table and leaned down, staring straight at Washington.

“I didn’t do anything and I’m not saying anything.” Wash folded his arms and leaned back on his chair to glare back at him.

“Please, you don’t even have to.” Felix shrugged. “You’re not even a suspect.”

“Wait, what?” Wash stared in disbelief.

“Nope! The victim died hours before you even arrived at the Pier according to the autopsy.” Felix opened the folder, flipping through the pages inside and reading off them. “’Estimated time of death – 5:30 PM. Cause of death – excess bleeding in the chest area. Multiple stab wounds were found around the chest area- Blah blah blah _boring_. Read it yourself.” Felix closed the file and slid it across the table. Wash raised an eyebrow and looked suspiciously at Felix as he stopped it with his hand. “Stop giving me that look, jeez, it’s fine! I’m completely authorizing this.”

Wash was reluctant to trust Felix but he flipped open the file, curiousity getting the better of him. The victim was a man named Gary Minamimoto, an employee of the Knock Knock Coffee Shop that also ordered from the Chorus Café Supplies group. He’d died from several stab wounds to the chest, according to the autopsy, and the knife to his neck was post mortem.

He mostly skimmed through the profile and the case files, gathering only the details. At the very end of the last page, the name of the main suspect was carefully typed out. Wash nearly fell out of his chair when he read who it was.

“Tucker!?”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> part 2 to catastrophe (previously named recovery: introduction) in my pi wash au. yes all titles will now be terrible puns and no one can stop me.  
> i planned to release the whole thing at once as a super long story but... man i kinda suck at that and i was taking too long so itll be in chapters.


	2. Chapter 2

_Date: 03/02/20XX, Friday_   
_Time: 8:40 PM_   
_Location: Interrogation Room A, Bloodgulch Police Station-A, Pier 636_

"You buddies with him?" Felix asked after seeing Wash's slightly disgruntled expression. He squinted suspiciously at him as the man started to calm down.

"Well, no, I wouldn't say that. I'd say more of an... acquaintance." Wash rubbed his forehead. He didn't know why he acted so surprised, he'd only just met the guy a few days ago. But in the short amount of time he'd gotten to know Tucker, he knew that he would never do anything like that.  _Would he?_

He shook his head, clearing his thoughts. The thought of Tucker actually being a murderer sent shivers up Wash's spine and put the conversation he had with the man the other night in a different light.

"You sure attract the weirdos." Felix smirked at Wash's pained expression.

"It would explain you."

"Haha, good one, Wash! You never fail to bring a smile to my face." Felix laughed and slapped the back of Wash's chair a little bit too hard to be friendly. "Now how about putting that wit of yours to good use, eh? Let's get started on this investigation!" He held out his hand to Wash but he only glared at it.

"Get... started?" Wash drew out slowly. He stared at Felix's face, trying to read what the other had exactly in mind.

"You were all up in the crime scene a while ago, aren't you curious? I'm asking for your services, Private Investigator Wash." Felix turned his back on Wash and shrugged. "Well, I mean, if you don't  _want_ to I can't really force you to-"

"No, I'll take it." Wash quickly interrupted without thinking. He mentally slapped himself a bit after when his reason caught up to his actions. Even if he didn't see the smirk that grew on Felix's face with his back turned to him, he knew he was up to something. But Wash definitely was curious and he wouldn't let an opportunity like this pass by. He just had to watch his back. "I'm allowed to ask questions now, right?"

Felix turned around to lean against the wall with his arms crossed. He faced Wash with his signature smirk. "Be my guest." 

"So, why Tucker?"

"His fingerprints were found on the murder weapon. We also have a witness: O'... _Something_..." Felix put his hand to his head and scrunched his eyes, trying to remember.

Wash looked back at the case files and studied it more closely. "You mean this O'Malley guy?"

"Yeah, that's the guy! We aren't done with getting all the details but his initial testimony matches with the evidence so far."

"Don't you think it's a bit odd that he didn't report it right away?" Wash recalled the dried blood he'd seen, and the fact that the autopsy marked the death a few hours before they'd discovered the body.

"Well, he claimed to not have witnessed the actual murder. Just saw the two enter the warehouse at the same time and see only one exit. He didn't find it important at that time." Felix shrugged. "As I said, we're not yet done with him. He had some work to get back to so we won't see him again 'til tomorrow."

Wash side-eyed them letting the witness go so easily but he let it slide. He wasn't in a place to criticize Felix's decisions after all. At least that was one thing off his to-do list for the night.

"And where's Tucker?" Wash felt a little bit too much concern in his words as Felix smirked again when he mentioned Tucker.

"He's in one of the cells right now, waiting for interrogation." Felix tapped his foot impatiently. "Are we done here? Any more questions you have'll probably be answered once we survey the scene."

"Right, before we go though... I have to make a short visit."

\-------

_Date: 03/02/20XX, Friday_   
_Time: 9:00 PM_   
_Location: Infirmary, Bloodgulch Police Station-A, Pier 636_

"Oh, Mr. Washingtub! I am so glad you are here!"

"Caboose," Wash walked over to Caboose, who was sitting down at the edge of a bed chatting with a doctor dressed in purple. She was currently inspecting the bruise he had on his knee. "Are you alright?"

"Oh, he's fine!" The doctor cheerfully replied. "No concussions or anything. Just a banged knee; nothing too hard to fix!"

"Yes, what the nice lady said!" Caboose bounced excitedly, making the springs on the bed squeak. "Mr. Washingtub! This place is so great and everyone is so nice to me. Where are we?" He tried to stand up but the doctor shook her head and ordered him to stay.

"We're in a police station." Wash smiled at Caboose's excitement. "And you probably shouldn't move around too much. Right, Doctor...?"

"Grey!" She practically sang.

"Yes, of course." Caboose sat completely still, staring straight forward. Wash had to tell him that no, he didn't mean to sit completely still and yes, he could breathe.

"Anyways, I need to ask you a few questions. Is that alright with you?" Caboose nodded. "Do you remember anything from before you passed out?"

"Yes, my name is Caboose and I work at Ble-"

"I  _mean-_ " 

"Oh, are you talking about the not-sleeping person?" Washington nodded, relieved that Caboose somehow understood him. "Yes, I remember it. The body on the floor and the knife and the crumpled paper..."

"Paper? What paper?" He cut him off again. Wash hadn't remembered there being any paper. He barely had any time to check the scene out, and knew Caboose had even less time. 

"The crumpled paper in his hand." Caboose scrunched his face in concentration. "Don't you remember? I can clearly see it."

"No, I don't." Wash stared at Caboose in disbelief. How could he not have noticed that himself and _Caboose_ had? "Do you remember anything else? Anything about the body?"

"Well, uhm... There was the kitty sniffing at the man's jacket pocket... And and..." Caboose kept his eyes closed in concentration for a few more seconds before slumping forward with a sad expression. "I am sorry. I cannot remember anything else. And..." His voice cracked a bit. "I-i don't really want to remember it."

Wash immediately regretted pressuring Caboose too much. The poor guy had gone through so much already tonight and Wash wasn't making it easier for him.

"It's fine, you did a great job already." Wash ruffled Caboose's messy hair even more. Caboose looked up at him and brightened up considerably. "I'm sorry about that... It's just been a long night."

"It's okay," Caboose hummed. "We all make mistakes."

_Right,_ Wash muttered inside his head,  _like I don't know that._

"But when we make mistakes, we learn!"

_Then I should be the smartest man in the whole fucking world._

"Right!" Dr. Grey stood up, finished with her examination. "And your lesson for tonight is: Don't go snooping around piers so late at night! We saw how well that went this night, didn't we?"

Wash felt like that statement was directed more towards him than at Caboose.

"My work here is done!" She clapped her hands together and started to walk away. "I'll see you boys later!"

"Right." Wash paused for a while, suddenly remembering something. "Speaking about snooping around piers though, where's Theta?"

A faint meow came from behind Caboose. Theta stepped out from behind him, rubbing himself against Caboose's side. Caboose giggled at this and scooped up the kitten in his arms.

"Isn't he just the  _cutest?_ " Wash had to stop himself from cooing and completely embarrassing himself in front of Caboose because  _holy shit, that is the most adorable kitten I has ever seen and dammit, North, if you don't keep a close watch on it, it might just disappear one day and the disappearance may or may not be because of me._

"Cute is... one way to put it." Wash coughed. He brought out his phone and snapped a picture of Caboose cradling the kitten in his arms and sent it to North.  _'north how dare'._ _  
_

"We should probably keep him in here. I don't think a cute little kitten like Theta can stay in such a terrible place like a crime scene!" Caboose looked down at the kitten and cooed. "Isn't that right, Theta? You shouldn't come with us."

"Come with us where?" Wash questioned.

"To investigate of course!" Caboose's eyes shone when he looked up at Washington. "You are going to do that, right? Because you're a detective!"

"Woah woah," Wash held out both hands to calm Caboose down. "I am but who said you were coming?"

"Can't I?" Caboose pouted.

"Of course not!" He threw both arms in the air, shouting exasperatedly at the other man. "Look what happened to you last time you followed me!"

Caboose was about to protest but stopped himself after he saw the look on Wash's face. He looked down at his hands and nodded. "... Okay then."

Wash caught himself again and sat down beside Caboose with his head in his hands to calm himself down. He always found himself shouting at Caboose and he  _really should fucking stop being such a douche to everyone._ "Look, I'm not angry at you okay? Just a bit..."

"Worried?" Caboose finished the sentence for him. He shook his head, laughing... bitterly? Wash was a bit surprised at this show of emotion from Caboose that wasn't extremely excited or sad. "A lot of people are always worried for me."

"Caboose..."

"No, no, it's ok." Caboose turned to him and smiled but Wash could still sense a note of bitterness in it. "I would rather not cause you more worry. You already have a lot to think about, don't you, Mr. Washingtub?"

"Yeah... I do." 

They sat together in an awkward silence before Bitters came in. He gave them both a bored stare before sighing and facing Washington.

"We're leaving already, sir." He politely said but his eyes read  _'holy fuck, get off your ass and move._ and also  _'please kill me'._ Wash nodded and stood up to follow him out.

He looked back one more time before the infirmary door closed behind him. Caboose noticed the still-worried expression on his face and gave him a big smile, followed by a thumbs-up.

Wash gave him a thumbs-up back, his worried frown turning into a smile.

 


End file.
